


Wings

by TaraTyler



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: I Can't Believe I Wrote This, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Kinda torture, Laura can fly though, Multi, What Have I Done, What Was I Thinking, Why Did I Write This?, kinda not torture, laura kinda gets tortured, raging vampire, so that's cool
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-30
Updated: 2015-12-30
Packaged: 2018-05-10 08:57:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5579339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TaraTyler/pseuds/TaraTyler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Laura has vanished out of thin air during the escape from library and Carmilla totally blames herself. Laura has been captured by scientists for who knows what reasons. She is being kept in a submersion chamber that cancels out all sensations, she can't feel anything and there is every chance that she is going crazy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wings

**Author's Note:**

> I kind of went to the dark place on this one, guys

It took hours,but eventually Carmilla got to me. I could almost feel her coming, the rage and love radiated off of her in a heat that filled my name. Then again, everything always felt hot now. Maybe it was just me. I almost didn’t want her to find me, whatever it is that they have done has changed me. I don’t feel like the same person anymore.

“Laura!” came the yell from far away. I could still hear it, I could still feel it. It vibrated in my chest. I kept my eyes closed tightly shut, or maybe they were stuck that way. It was all too bright and it hurt too much to find out. Maybe I don’t want to know. I could hear/feel Carmilla coming closer and what I think is my heart begins to pound.

I try to scream back, but I’m not sure if any sound comes out or not. It could have been a rasp, it could have been a bloody murder scream. All I can hear is ringing. My head is spinning and I want to run, but I can’t force my way to my feet.

“Laura… are you okay? Oh, God, what have they done to you?” I hear the whoosh of air escaping my submersion chamber, sensory deprivation is a daily part of my new and improved life.

“Carmilla?” I ask and my voice is raw.

“Subject LH, test 42, failed.” a monotone, almost mechanical voice announces, and I brace myself for the pain I know is coming. I find out my voice still works when I let out an earsplitting scream.

I can’t remember the smell of my vampire anymore. I used to think that it might be spices, possibly cinnamon. Now, I think that it might be blood. I don’t want to let go, but I’m starting to think that I might have to. The possibility hurts more than the slices and weight on my back, in my spine, over my shoulder blades.

My mind has betrayed me. I don’t know what is real, I don’t know what is fantasy. I dream of my rescue. Sometimes, there is a man in a blue box with a wild look in his eyes with a girl around my age by his side. Others there is a young British woman dressed all in red, white, and blue. Most of the time there was a girl badass from eyeliner to boots in black leather. She had rage, age, and strength in her eyes. I knew that I was supposed to know her, and I knew that I was supposed to feel something or other for. I just don’t know anything else.

Another test, and this time I was prepared. If I just stayed in my box, I wouldn’t be hurt, right? I could feel her coming, that pure sensation of her in my mind and my body. Every hair on my body rose up in response. My skin prickled.

“Laura!” comes the expected shout, the voice was everything, it took up all of the space inside of me. A name, maybe several of them edged in on the side of my brain, but I rejected them. Nothing good could come from it. I had learned that the hard way, but it didn’t stop my unceasing curiously. I didn’t respond to the girl’s question but I did force my eyes open. In the seconds that I had vision again, I tried to memorize her face.

“Subject LH, test 56, passed.”

\------//////------

I didn’t feel anything else for a long time. I might have hallucinated. I gave up on thinking of ways to escape and the pain eased up. Basic functions I remembered and core facts. I know how to eat, drink, and relieve myself though I don’t ever need to do those things. I remember how to dress myself, read, write, and fight. My mind is empty of all else. I still crave cookies.

I’ve stopped looking for the strange man in the blue box. I don’t expect the British woman to come to my rescue anymore. If the girl in black does come, I can’t go with her. I already know the repercussions.

\------//////-----

The blackouts come more often now, I think, than they did before. Time no longer exists for me. When I wake up, or what now serves as ‘awake’ I feel… different and I hurt more. I feel more of everything. The hands that move me now are much more gentle than before and I become so much more aware of everything than I had been before. I am propped up on my own two feet.

A cloth is tied over my eyes, so that i can open them. It gives me a chance to adjust to my new surroundings and get my bearings. I’m nearly overwhelmed by the sensations all around me.

I’ve been cleaned and clothed. I can smell shampoo and soap, feel warmth and cloth.

\-----/////-----

“What’s your name?” I am asked over a loudspeaker and the sound is like knives in my ears. I attempt to speak and reply but all that comes out is a horrible croaking noise.

“Do you know your name?” I am asked much more softly this time.

“Laura.” I answer once given water to lubricate the sandpaper that is my mouth.

“Laura Hollis.”

“Your age?”

“Nineteen? I think? Has my birthday passed?”

“Subject LH. Test two passed. On to test three.” a voice echoes again and I cover my ears with scabbed hands. I think of the girl in black leather and wish that she would take me away.

“Subject. Fly through the maze.”

“Fly? I can’t fly.” Now I’m being asked to do the impossible.

“Of course you can. That’s why we gave you wings.”

I remember the heavy things on my back always just out of sight. I remember the softness I felt on and off while being moved around.

“I don’t know how to use them.” I protest.

“Figure it out.” I’m ordered and the floor underneath me begins to get warmer and warmer, until it burns. The pads of my feet are already as hyper-sensitive as the rest of my body and I feel as though I’ve been set afire. I want to cry and I want to scream, but instead. I run, trying to figure out how to get the floppy messes of bones, muscle, and feather attached to my shoulders to move. I am spurred on by the smell of burning flesh. It hurts, but I’m used to hurting. I shove that part of my mind into the back with everything else that I have yet to allow myself to feel.

I jump every few steps now, trying to get them to carry me until finally, I can feel something move, and I drift a few feet. If I weren’t in a building I could just wing myself away. I do it again and again, wanting to scream at the top of my lungs every time that my toes even barely brushed the ground. The new muscles were weak, but willpower got me a lot of airtime until someone finally pulled me out of there. The burns on my feet were treated while I was strapped to a hospital bed and examined. After, they returned me to nothingness where I couldn’t feel anything, not even the burnt soles of my feet. Instead of dreaming of rescue, now I dream of escape.

\-----/////-----

The days (If they are days) feel shorter now, and flying practice is the only time that I am allowed to have anywhere near an experience of interaction with the real world. I am tested, I am made to fly, and I am left in that box to rot. I am tested on how high I can fly, and how much I am able to carry whilst flying. My wing muscles appear to be getting stronger with each test and I feel proud of myself. The captors seem to be pleased as well.

I think that I might be stronger than I used to be, though I don’t remember much from before the box came into my life. I crave the outdoors, though I don’t remember why. I want to feel the wind in my hair, I want to know what the sun feels like, and I wonder if the grass feels cool or burns like the tile floors. Did I have friends? Was I smart? I can’t allow myself to think about these things. 

Is anyone looking for me…

My questions are rarely answered. If they are it’s with taunts.

“If anyone were looking for you, wouldn’t you have been found by now?”

“No one cares, subject.”

“We ask the questions around here, freak.”

That is apparently what I am called now, a mutant and a freak. I’m an abomination not meant to exist on this planet. I have thousand more questions, but none of the bravery to ask. Did I used to be brave? I don’t even know what I look like anymore. How different am I?

\-----/////-----

Someone gets careless one day. Someone always gets careless and a few times I miss my chance, but I think that that’s why they keep being careless. Maybe I was just too cowardly to fly out of there then, or too weak despite being the strongest that I had ever been. I knew nothing of the outside world. My life, everything that I know revolved around a sensory deprivation chamber and sedation to keep me malleable, and science experiments on my person that sent me into a new universe of pain.

One day, however the high ceilings of the lab weren’t high enough to contain me, I know that I could go higher and the assholes in the white coats did too. For the next test we went outside. They had to blindfold me to keep my eyes from literally burning. They took off the bandage bit by bit to let me see. Once my eyes were adjusted enough… I could see in color for the first time. I saw greens and browns, trees, grass, and sky. I heard bird songs that I felt a primal connection to. We were family now. I knew that if I were going to get out, now would be my chance.

The issue at this point was the literal leash around my ankle. I trip, fall against a white coat and apologize in my hoarse and croaky voice. I come away with a stolen scalpel cutting into the palm of my hand. Mission: Success. Test: Passed.

“Go as high as you can. Tug on the rope once you run out of slack. We’ve got enough for as long as you need.” the white coat whose scalpel I nabbed instructs. Sadly, he is one of the better ones.

I back up and take a running starts. I enjoy the ‘squish’ of the ground beneath my feet, the tickle of the grass beneath my scarred toes. The air whooshes past my face. I feel almost breathless when my feet pull up off the ground. I swoop around for a bit, wanting to yell but I know that it would hurt. There is so much going on that my mind can’t even register it. I push for higher, the men below looking as tiny as ants.

I don’t know if I’m out of range of their guns. I reach down and tug, pressing even higher, the air is thinner up here. If I dive from here, I can hide in the forest amongst the trees. I can see smoke from a camp. Maybe those people could help. Four people, maybe five if anyone has taken cover amongst a whole bunch of redheads.

I moved faster than I knew that I could. The scientists probably assume that i’m bending to tug for more height. I’m sawing through rope. There’s still a good half left, but I rip it apart with my bare hands. Clearly, I’m now much stronger than I know. I tilt down to a nose dive, wind bringing tears to my eyes, and a screeching whistle sound piercing my sensitive ears. I can’t hear the shouts of the white coats, but I bet that they’re pissed.

“Holy shit.” I curse when I pull back, the strain on my wings feeling like my shoulders might rip from the skin. They might could, who knows what those bastards have done to me.

“Laura!” someone yells and i crash land into a stop.

“I need to work on the brakes.” I mutter. “How do you know my name?”

Chapter Two: Carmilla

I heard them before I saw them. Laura falling through the sky wasn’t something that I had ever dared to dream of. Then I smelled her smell and heard her heartbeat and her voice. Something was definitely wrong. LaFontaine and Danny’s voices trembled.

“Laura, what happened?” they ask. I don’t know that my centuries of living have prepared me for this.

“Am I supposed to know you?” she asks, tilting her head to one side when I move to where I can see her. She’s hurt, all over, and so much more thin than she is meant to be. The air rushing in and out of her lungs sounds… wrong and her heartbeat is much too quick to be safe for a normal human. I don’t even know if she is a human anymore. Then I hear a rustle of feathers and am exposed to the full sight of shining grey wings, sprouting from her back. She shakes them out and they settle back against her dirty shirt.

Laura is so pale and gaunt. I don’t think that she is even aware of the fact that she is trembling and bleeding.

“We’re your friends, Laura. For the past long while. I’m Danny Lawrence and this LaFontaine. Perry, JP, Will, and Carmilla are off gathering supplies.” Danny tells her. It’s the first time that I’ve thought that she might actually cry.

“Carmilla…”Laura rolls my name around on her tongue.. She almost remembers me, I can tell.

“The vampire?” LaF prompts, and I step out from the shadows.

“That would be me, Carmilla Karnstein, the vampiress. I think that you might need to sit down.” I say, the muscle in my jaw twitching.

I guide Laura to one of the lawn chairs and ease her into it.

“Why are you guys here?” she asks, looking rather terrified.

“Looking for you.” I answer. “Are you okay? Your pupils are blown.”

“I don’t know what okay means for me anymore, or even what it used to mean for me.” she replies, looking down at her hands.

Perry ducks out of a tent with scissors, a hair-brush, and clothes.

“Do you mind if my friend takes care of you a bit? She was your friend too.” I say gently, kneeling in front of her, holding her gaze. I want her to keep her eyes on me to distract from Perry cutting out the mats.

“Why are you here to look for me? How long have I been there? How do you know me?” she asks rapid fire questions. At least that part of her is literally no different at all.

“We’re here to look for you because you are our friend. I don’t know how long you’ve been in there, but you’ve been missing for a month and a half. I’m your college roommate. You were working for a degree in journalism when your roommate Betty disappeared… here, you vlogged the whole thing. Watch.” I hand her my cellphone.

“Sweetie, when is the last time you showered?” Perry asks, the knots all finally out. Her hair is dull and lifeless, nothing like what it is supposed to be, and so long.

“No concept of time. I have no idea. It was right before I learned how to fly.” she answers, looking disappointed in herself.

“Why didn’t you have a concept of time?” LaFontaine asks, looking curious.

“There was a box of … stuff. When they finished with me, I got put back into the box. My… everything disappeared. TIme, smells, vision, hearing, touch. Everything was gone. I nearly went crazy. I hallucinated. I still get sensory overload over the little things.” she looks scared. I’m very tired of seeing her looking scared. She’s Laura Hollis, brave, strong, and curious. I pat her knee and stand up to stretch.

“Let’s go. You can keep watching while we take a bath.” I offer her my hand. Her skin burns against my own.

“In the videos we hate each other.” she points out. I don’t answer any of the GInger Squad’s questions about where we are going. The more alone we are the better.

“We got past it.” I answer succinctly. Her body temperature is so high that it almost burns my hand. I kind of like it because it provides a perfect balance between us. A perfect storm. In my other hand I hold a change of clothes for each of us, and the hairbrush and scissors.

I brought Laura to a lakeside beach where I pulled off my clothes. She stared wide-eyed in confusion.

“What?” I ask, looking confused. “I did say that we were going to take a bath.” I said wearing nothing but my underwear. It was dark now and I knew that all Laura could see was my silhouette. I also knew that for her, imagination was more powerful than anything else. I pulled them off and jumped into the still water, shivering. My own eyes never left her.

I could see Laura perfectly, however, with my vampire vision. I can see almost every rib in her body, and the way she trembles in the cold as she takes off her filthy clothes. I wish that I could hug her and hold her until she stilled and remembered who I am. I would die all over again to kiss her once. I would never have believed that I could love her this much.

She shakes put her wings, glistening in the moonlight. They frame her body perfectly and she looks like a perfect angel. She steps into the water hesitantly, looking nervous. Maybe this is too much all at once. She said that she has been experiencing sensory overload. Then again, the water could just be cold too.

“You doing okay?” I ask, looking to Laura with a half smile that I’m kind of famous for.

“Yeah, this is just very different.” she looks wonderous, dipping her toe into the water. “It’s so cold and nice.”

“What can you remember, Laura?” I ask, holding my hand out to her again.

“My name is Laura Hollis. I lived alone with my father and was homeschooled until college. I took Krav Maga and was qute good at it. I want to be a journalist. I watch a lot of TV and read a lot of books. I like girls. I like to talk. Basic functions. How to do things. I rely a lot on my muscle memory for things.” she shrugs.

“You don’t remember me at all?” I ask, sounding a lot more desperate than initially intended.

“You and my father are the only one that I never forgot.” Laura says pensively. “I was never clear on who you are, but your face never left my mind. You were there in every hallucination and with me during every test, usually my temptation.” she answers.

“I knew that I felt something for you. Something strong, stronger than the pain that I was in. It helped me get through it all. Can you tell me more?” she asks. She swims beside of me to lean against the rock facing.

“we met at the beginning of your freshman year of college. You hated me and I thought that you were seriously aggravating.” I begin.


End file.
